Dr. MengeleCOMET or Nurse METARatched?

"... but I admit, I don´t like conflicts and try to avoid them ..."
Dr. MengeleComet, December 16, 2009

That's not an admission, that's a lie! If Jitterbug doesn't like conflict and tries to avoid them, then why taunt me endlessly about being mentally ill? Yeah, call me: "pathetic, mean, weird(est) and sick(est) ... that's okay with me. But to send me an email taunting me that she says: I'm "in need of a new psychiatrist and new medication"?

I heard that Jitterbug claims to be involved in the medical field, somehow. Yep, the School of Inflicting Emotional Pain and Torture at the Doctor Mengele University at Auschwitz. Jitterbug learned her tactics well and passed those heinous methods on to the Koven.

Jitterbug keeps on pounding into every email that she knows what I think, she says I'm full of hate and anger, and calls me mentally ill: but, hey, Christimas time is holy to her, so let's stop arguing ... for now ... Hypocrisy, thy name is Jitterbug ...

I guess Jitterbug doesn't remember she oh, so, boldly told me that she would never make fun of my disability (oh, and yes, mental illness is a disability) ... maybe the different staff writers for the "Marion Brockmann"/"metacomet" persona should compile a "bible" to keep track of all the insults the "Marion Brockmann"/"metacomet" has hurled at me, while at the same time, the "Marion Brockmann"/"metacomet" persona claims to be a peaceful person who avoids conflict ...

A person who would call a person "mentally ill" over and over, in email after email, is only trying to torture and demoralize her target. What an evil and awful person Jitterbug must be to do such a thing! Is it any wonder Jitterbug's first ever PM to me suggested that a reason I might've blocked her in Facebook was because, as she wrote: I "hate all Germans"! Talk about the shape of things to come ...

All of the Koven taunted me for being in therapy and taking meds ... I guess that's the #1 rule in the Koven's bible for dealing with Tami ...

Koven's Rule #1: If a Koven member cannot think of a good lie to explain the Koven's behavior that Tami exposes in her blog, or to deny a reasonable request, or if Tami gets too close to the truth, then taunt Tami's mental illness. (After all, it is true that Tami was hospitalized for a month, and Tami is still in therapy and taking medication. It isn't taunting if it's true, is it?)

Koven's Rule #2: Even though the taunting only proves everything that Tami blogs about the Koven, keep taunting Tami until she posts something the Koven can use as ammunition against her.,

Koven's Rule #3: No matter what she may be to the contrary, Tami is a shallow, pretentious woman crippled of mind and without a thought for her fellow man unless they jump on the Tami Bandwagon and become obsequious to her. Keep reminding her of that.

Koven's Rule #4: No matter how stupid the Koven may look by doing so, the Koven must discredit, distract and demoralize Tami at all costs, even if the Koven must debase itself by endlessly harping lies about Tami at the Koven's friends.

Koven's Rule #5: Misinterpret everything Tami does as a hateful attack, even if you must say something very idiotic such as "Tami attacked me in January 2009 in retaliation for something the Koven did in the following February of 2009."

Koven's Rule #7: If Tami exposes anything to anyone about the Koven's activities, threaten to Tami that the Koven will post copies of all of the pictures Tami posted at her blog, at the USA Network Monk Forum, if Tami doesn't take down that post.

Koven's Rule #8: If Tami catches a Koven member in a lie, make up another lie to cover the first lie (see appendices a. through zzzzzzzzzz. for a list of lies that have proven unsuccessful), and tell Tami she is mentally ill.

Koven's Rule #9: If a Koven member cannot break through Tami's truthful and logical argument, make up a lie or tell Tami she is mentally ill.

Koven's Rule #10: If any of the Koven's Facebook friends defriends a member of the Koven because of the Koven's harping about Tami, then that is a sign that the Koven is doing its job.

Koven's Rule #11: Tell Tami that she is horrible because she never apologizes, but don't tell her what she should apologize for.

Koven's Rule #12: If Tami ever apologizes for anything to any member of the Koven, that Koven member will ignore the apology and then demand an apology from Tami a month later.

Koven's Rule #13: The Koven will never admit to making a mistake, being mistaken or telling a lie, even when confronted with evidence to the contrary.

Koven's Rule #14: Define any correct behavior that Tami displays (such as ignoring the Koven) as "cyberbullying" even if that is contrary to the truth.

-- MengeleComet ...

~~ A little mouse told me that Jitterbug really does write better English than she lets on. What's even more curious is that Jitterbug responded in her perfectly good English to a post to her that was written in German ...

Jitterbug deleted that post, of course ~~

Free Blog Counter

Since Jitterbug (supposedly) won't be reading my Blogger Blog any more ...

... here's the link to my Blogger Blog ...

Of course, Jitterbug did tell me that it was too complicated for her to have her friend, whom I designated as a reader, create a screen name for the Koven to use, and Jitterbug didn't want to have to log in to read my blog ...
Jitterbug taunted me by telling me that I made my Blogger Blog invited-reader-only because she thought it drove me crazy not knowing who was reading my blog.

That's absolutely ridiculous! I made it invited-reader-only to see if the person I invited would give the url to the rest of the Koven and go so far as to actually create a Blogger screen name for the Koven to use.

The reason I deleted the blog and uploaded/copied it to an entirely new Blogger Blog was because my hit counter hit the max that I could get for free ... so I needed an entirely "new" blog ...

See: I don't hate when people read my blog ...

More Bullshit. Think If You Heap It On, We'll Never Smell New Bullshit From Old?

Here's a definition of cyberbullying:

--making an open post on a message board hoping everyone's loved ones die of a horrible disease we're powerless to stop and then never apologizing for it.  You said that garbage even as Barb's mother laid in a hospital doing just exactly that.  Your heart pumps koolaid you cold, evil bitch.

--harassing, badgering, and brow-beating other posters when they don't post the way you want them to post or when they do or say something you don't like, even though you have absolutely no authority to do so and are nothing but another poster on that board.

--following those posters you have your little grudges against all over the fucking internet.

--telling lie after lie after lie, for instance, that you never brought the fight over to the Monk board when in fact you did it first and so often that other posters rightfully bashed you for it. Not only did you bring the fight to the Monk board, but you brought to your friends' facebook walls...for instance, Damien's, and he cuffed you for it like the child you are, saying it was obviously YOU who couldn't let the matter drop.

--and in grand troll fashion, creating multiple accounts on the Monk board specifically to harass the poster you're fighting with and attacking on a regular basis.  You owned up to it only after you were fucking caught by the admin over there, and until he busted your ass, you continued to lie about it and had your friends covering up your lie as well--Amy admitted to that already.  If we have to keep reposting PMs and emails over and over and over just to keep you honest, that speaks to your character and integrity, not ours.  You don't tell the truth until after you're caught red-handed.

--finally, making fun of another poster because her husband left her, all the while knowing your own husband scraped your mean, lying ass off like shit off his shoe.  Making fun of another poster who is in therapy, all the while you have posted on that board of your many mental issues, for which you are so obviously NOT getting required therapy and desperately needed meds.  I think I'll associate with the person acting like a responsible adult who is dealing with their problems rather than the cold-hearted trailer trash who instead chooses to force others to deal with their mental disorders. 


You keep making your own bed and then pissing and moaning like a bitch and the human trash that you are that you have to lay in it.

Now, all that shit you got back in return, that was a direct result of YOUR actions, harassment, and that first evil, vulgar, spiteful post--that's called YOUR chickens coming home to roost.  WWofW, YOU are the cyberbully.  You simply cannot deal with the consequences of YOUR actions.  Hit me, and I'll hit you back.  Common mother fucking sense, unless you're a complete idiot.  You don't rule shit here.  Apologize or shut the fuck up.  Making up a lie and then apologizing for the lie is NOT an apology.  Apologize or shut the fuck up.   You just keep piling on more lies.

No wonder your husband threw your ass away.  He got tired of smelling the shit in his house.  He threw you away.  Good man.  Finally came to his senses.  If you don't carry the trash down to the curb, the smell never goes away and neither does the trash.  Good man.

Here's Kjees' definition of a cyberbully:  anyone who responds in kind to her mistreatment and abuse--anyone who talks back.

Kjees, in case you're too fucking country to understand what 'in kind' means, it means punch for punch, volley for volley, an eye for eye.  To give back the same mistreatment and abuse that YOU dished out.  You asked for everything you got.  You never apologized and you never shut the fuck up.  That means you're still asking for it.

This is precisely why I was always verbal about those posters coming in bashing not the trolls, but the people who were attempting to defend themselves.  That 'just let it drop and be the bigger person and restore the peace by keeping your mouth shut and not fighting' garbage sounds all nice and diplomatic but it doesn't control the trolls at all--it empowers them.  People like you get it into your empty heads that you can take a shit on whomever you want, whenever you want, over whatever little pussified thing you feel like, under the unreasonable expectation that the person you're shitting on has a moral compulsion to suck it up and take it, whatever you feel like dishing out.  That line of reasoning empowers trolls like you.  That's precisely why you're so into dogs and animals in general--THEY DON'T TALK BACK. 


You're socially inept and have absolutely no people skills.  That's why you repeatedly go where you're not wanted--that fucking board for instance.  People can't stand you over there except your Koven puppets--people get snippy with you, condescend to you (most of the time, it goes completely over your head, like that girl that posted "I love you" after your first post.  You thought she was being nice.  You had just posted to everyone "I hope your loved ones die."  Get it yet?  If you're her loved one, you'll fucking drop dead.  She was telling you to drop dead.  Stupid ass country fuck.)  Or they just post around you, completely ignoring you.  And you keep going back.  Too stupid to take the overwhelming hint.

You keep bitching about what we're doing. We're not doing anything. But we are doing a lot of shit back to you. There's a difference.  A huge fucking difference.  If we do something, we're culpable.  If we do shit back, it's shit you fully asked for, and rightfully deserve.  You asked for it, bitch--by starting it.  What kind of clueless cunt expects to take a shit on someone and never see a consequence for that?  We're not dogs--we talk back.  Suck on that.

The WWofW had a meltdown ... I swear ... I only HELD the bucket of water ...

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And Now, For Some Awards That Really Matter.....

Kjees gets this award for coming back to the board even though no one wants her there except her other mindless koven minions, for saying something as evil and foul as "I hope your loved ones die" and never apologizing for it (no, the cunt lied about a typo and then apologized for the lie), for creating multiple accounts at the USA Monk Message Board for purposes of harassing and attacking people, for being the pot to repeatedly call the kettle black, for getting suspended at that board not once but twice under two different accounts, for having the profound stupidity to actually be proud of being a bitch, for siccing her bumpkin relatives on Tami, and for being such an overall, well-rounded cunt.

MetaVomit gets this award for having the gall to blame others for her own confusion, for attacking others for setting options on their own Facebook pages, for lying when logic, reality, and truth fail her arguments time and time again, for hurling baseless accusations, ultimatums, and lies, for repeatedly whining about lies without ever saying where, why, how, who, and when those supposed lies ever appeared (of course, that's because there never were any), and finally, for repeatedly condescending to those she attacks--expecting her VICTIMS to restore peace. 

This award goes to FerClempt for being just pussy enough to whine about being asked to stop using that fucking Facebook chat window to continually ask Tami mindless questions about Emmy Clarke and Traylor Howard, then whine that he was attacked (where?), then whine about being rejected at Tami's Facebook Fan pages (can't imagine why she'd repeatedly reject someone who's been harassing her), then whine about Tami getting his bogus imposter Emmy Clarke Facebook page taken the fuck down because it violated Facebook's TOS (what kind of lying bastard poses as a celebrity on the internet?  These celebrities actually hate it when you do that--it's identity theft, asshole), and for being just stupid enough and pussy enough to call it an attack when someone unfriends you or doesn't accept you on their page (they're allowed to that, asshole.)  FerClempt gets this award for being a whiney little girl when it comes to the very small, minor disappointments in his own life, most of which, he brings upon himself.  Rejection is not an attack, moron.  It mean fucking go away.

This prestigious award goes to Raven, for saying repeatedly over the years on the USA board that she's neutral and non-confrontational, etc, and then for jumping right into the conflict, and then once she jumped in with both feet, had the nerve to jump in to defend vile, vulgar, evil behavior, and rub even more salt in the wounds of those attacked.  Raven further wins this award for making arguments that prove her inability to discern right from wrong, to follow a sequence of events even to know where something started, where the middle is, who did what to whom and when, and who started the whole fucking thing, as well as to exhibit time and time again an inability to determine from whom an apologize should come, and in which direction(s) that apology should flow.  Finally, Raven gets this award for actually suggesting that it is possible anywhere on planet earth to 1) defend evil without being evil, 2) to cover up lies without being a liar, and 3) to remain neutral even while fully engaged in conflict. Of course, none of these things are possible, unless you're either in politics, or you're lying on your back in the hospital, repeatedly hitting the button on your morphine drip.

This award goes, hands down, to the Dreaded Koven of Evil, Lies, and Dispair, for cyber-bullying and cyber-stalking above and beyond the call.  This includes following your victims all over the fucking internet in order to harass them, creating multiple message board accounts, coordinating lies among your members, keeping minions in line by dropping the axe when ultimatums are lodged, using tactics such as lies, misdirection, pressure, control, brain-washing, and brow-beating of innocent bystanders in order to wage wars against your victims.  When your conduct and culpability is discovered, you keep a clip loaded with lame excuses so that you can shoot your way out of it--just like the time you were discovered coordinating by PMs on another person's fan message board, and setting up multiple accounts wherein you were caught impersonating a known poster at the USA board for purposes of harassment and abuse of another poster.  Not to mention, getting caught numerous times hating people and holding petty grudges for unreasonable periods of time. 

Mmkay, what all Tami did....let's see....she petitioned admin on USA and another site to remove personal, private, family pictures posted without Ted Levine's knowledge or consent to be taken down.  Sounds like something done out of respect and consideration for Ted, and Tami was PMed by Ted's daughter thanking her for doing that.  So Meta--you're attacking someone for acting in the best interests of this star you supposedly admire.  Ted didn't want those pictures up. Not on the board, not on your site, nowhere but his kids' Facebook pages.  I need to contact Ted to let him know you're repeatedly bashing and harassing and bullying the very person he told his daugher Melissa to thank for having those pictures you posted taken down.

What else did she do?  She did a lot of blogging.  Well, you people attacked her.  'Nuff said.  If you hadn't started a shit storm with her, no blogging of this fight would have occurred.  Don't start none, won't be none.  She came back into the board after a long absence, only to find the big steaming pile of shit Kjees left over there and she commented on it.  She's been getting harassed, bullied, and stalked by every one of you ever since.  If you hit someone, they'll hit you back. 

Let's see, she got the bogus Emmy Clarke page taken down.  Posing as another person, in this case--a celebrity--is an offense and an abuse of that celebrity.  You wanted her to let you carry on unabated?  This just reaffirms my lack of faith in human nature.  We don't come down on the person doing wrong--we attack the person who stopped them from doing it.  Same with the person posing as Tony Shalhoub.  Tami contacted a person in direct contact with Tony to verify whether or not this was actually Tony's page.  This woman said 'no, it's not him.'  Then that woman had the page taken down.  If Tony didn't mind some idiot on Facebook talking as though he were him, that page would still be up.  Would you mind if I started Facebook pages pretending to be you?  Is it okay because he and Emmy are celebrities?  AGAIN, Tami does something decent and ethical out of respect and consideration, and she's bashed and bullied and stalked for it.  Apparently, Tami gives little consideration to the shit storm she knows these people are going to bring every time she does something like this, because she keeps doing it regardless.  Why?  Because she actually respects these people as human beings.  She did a 'good looking out' for Emmy, Ted, and now Tony.  Yeah, keep attacking her and stalking her. 

Me and Tami had a very bad fight on that board about a year ago.  I was in the wrong.  I had sense enough to realize I was in the wrong.  (Maybe that's where you guys are hitting your snag.)  I apologized.  What happened to the shit storm between me and Tami?   IT DIED.  All it takes for a fight to end and peace to be restored is for the guilty party to fucking apologize.  I was even told Tami was blogging about me when this fight was going on.  I didn't care at all.  When I'm fighting with someone, I fully expect that person to be verbal about it.  She wasn't blogging, as it turns out--another Koven lie by the WWofW, but it's irrelevent.  I, as shithead, should fully expect the person I attacked to be all pissed off about it and to say stuff.  It's my own damn fault.  Gee.  I apologized, and it all went away. 

What else did Tami do?

Set her own options on her own Facebook page, blocking absolutely no one.  Wow.  What a bitch.

Didn't accept the friend requests of everyone who sent her one.  She actually rejected the ones she had no kind of friendship or rapport with--people she didn't know at all, and people she had no connection with.  For that, she's been attacked by two members of the koven.  By the same addled logic, I can send friend requests to Kjees, Raven, Meta, and FerClempt, and since we all posted at one time on the same message board, they are all bound and obligated to accept me.  Yeah, let me give that a shot....

Asked one person nicely to please stop opening the chat window in Facebook because it's an annoying and glitchy app on that site.  Again, what a bitch.  Wow.

And finally, repeatedly deleted two people (who were already harassing her and lying about her) from her fan pages on Facebook.   They're her pages, but she needs all your approvals in order to administer them?

Who all do you people get permission from before you set options and choose friends on your Facebook pages????

More pissing and moaning from the same group of people who do nothing but piss and moan. Metacomet, who still blames Tami for something that she not only didn't do, but has explained to this dumb bitch time and time again where, when, how, and why she didn't fucking do it, sent an email to inform Tami that she lost the biggest fan thing--whatever that is--because of Tami's comments on the USA Monk Message Board. Damn, Meta, I guess it just wasn't your turn to use the brain.



Um, so Meta, why didn't you get it either???? Was it because of your mouth? You've been spewing all kinds of verbal diarrhea over there. In fact, Tami's been keeping her comments on her fucking blog. It's been the koven members who have been dragging the argument over to that dysfunctional, hostile board--not Tami.


Was it because you posted personal, PRIVATE family pictures over there without bothering to get Ted's permission? Nah. Can't see how that'd tick anyone off. None of those people over there really give a shit about any of these cast members. They just see them as their own personal playthings....just like you, Jitterbug.


Was it because you keep spewing lies about Tami? Nah. There's enough of that going around over there, seeing's how Kjees came back even though nobody over there wants to read her garbage or listen to her whining and bellyaching.


I guess you just flew under the radar over there, right?

And this dumb bitch sends Tami an email saying she had extended her hand numberous times to reach a peace.  Fucking cunt--this is like the rapist extending his hand to the person he raped.  Tami is the VICTIM.  A hand isn't due, unless you're offering to slap the shit out of yourself.  Condescending to the person you attacked and lied about.  What fucking gall.  A hand isn't due.  AN APOLOGY is due.  Apologize for accusing her of blocking you on Facebook when she didn't fucking block you.  Then apologize for accusing her of hating all germans.  The instigator and the attacker owe apologies--not hands!!  THIS IS WHY THERE IS NO PEACE--THE PEOPLE WHO OWE APOLOGIES REFUSE TO GIVE THEM.  Fuck you.

First she accuses Tami of blocking her, after she has had it explained to her over and over and over and over and over and over that Tami did NOT block her.  Tami made her profile unsearchable.  There's a fucking difference.  You have the fucking gall to hold a grudge against someone for using options in Facebook that are available to them????  EVERYONE is allowed to make their profiles unsearchable on that site.  Then you issue ultimatums to all your friends demanding they choose either you or Tami, they can't have you both as friends.  I HAVE the fucking PM...it's an ultimatum.  So let I get this straight--YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS' FRIENDS, BUT TAMI'S NOT ALLOWED TO SET THE OPTIONS ON HER OWN FUCKING FACEBOOK AND CHOOSE HER OWN FRIENDS??!?!!?  What fucking planet do you live on that you have all this power and Tami has none???  What  a stupid fucking cunt.

As to this stupid ass biggest fan thing, you didn't win either, bitch.  I think it's because of all the comments you made on the USA Monk Message Board.  You should have shut the fuck up. Tami owes NO apologies for anything she said after you attacked her.  Period.  What a fucking sense of entitlement mean bastards always seem to have.  Apologize or shut the fuck up.


Come to think of it, why didn't any of the other koven members win it either? You didn't win it. Kjees didn't win it. Raven didn't win it. Why? Here's the pot calling the kettle, AGAIN.

Could it be because you all keep posting on this fight over there? Because none of you has the sense or consideration to keep your pissing and moaning and lies on a blog or your facebooks or just plain off that fucking board?


Yeah, I think that's it.

Tami posted on that board in full view for all to see, to not vote for her.



This is just another case of the pot calling the kettle black. None of them won, but they actually think they can embarass Tami by calling her to the mat on why she didn't win. What the fuck? Kinda like Kjees laughing at Tami because her husband left her. Um, Kjee's husband left her too. I'd have kept my mouth shut.

Two pigs fall on their ass in the mud--which one's the idiot? The one who laughs at the other pig. Um, Tami's husband was screwing around on her. Had he not left, I'm sure she'd have thrown him out. Now why did Kjees say her husband left her? More bullshit--she says because he just couldn't handle her anymore. Sounds like a man sick and tired of a bitch's bullshit. You see how she acts on that board, right? He was fed up.


He's probably still kicking himself for wasting so many years on you. I certainly hope he's finally found himself a real woman. He's definitely put in his time in hell. He deserves a good woman. What he scraped off was a cold-hearted, manipulative, controlling, yammering bitch.


And I don't care how many cutesy acronyms you find for the word 'bitch,' it's not a good thing to be. The women who come up with those acronyms are just worthless bitches who have no intention of ever being anything else. They have no intention of ever changing. And they are so worthless, they can't be anything else.

I can see how a worthless bitch would desperately need a cutesy acronym in order to feel good about herself, but she's only lying to herself. I know of no one who likes a bitch. Everyone I know avoids a bitch. They hate bitches. Refuse to stop being a worthless bitch because you simply insist on being controlling, arrogant, self-centered, and mean. Never met a bitch in my life that wasn't too stupid to realize everyone hated them.


In fact, I knew this one total bitch years ago. I fucking sugared her gas tank back in '91. She had an old, beat up white pickup truck with only one hubcap. Everytime she pulled into the parking lot, it sounded like she was dragging a bag of wrenches. Engine shot, of course. Afterward, it was the ugliest fucking paperweight in the parking lot. Insurance company only gave her $350 for that piece of shit. She bought a 12-year-old Dodge with the money, and the transmission blew up--get this--EIGHT DAYS after she bought it. I laughed my fucking ass off. One unrepentive bitch fried, died, and laid to the side. As far as I know, she's still a walking bitch.

Here's what a bitch is too stupid to figure out: you do not fuck with people unless you're independantly wealthy. She lipped off at me, like a bitch will do, and got fucked in the ass for it.



Take your cutesy acronyms and shove them up your ass. The only thing a bitch is, is a woman too stupid to realize that other people just don't want to put with up their bullshit.


No, bitch--your husband left you because he was finally fed up with your bullshit. He threw you away. One thing you should NEVER do is laugh at someone else because their husband left them. Your husband threw you away like the trash you are.


Tami, I hate to tell you, but you never should have gone back over there. You know what those people are like. No wonder Tony Shalhoub says he's afraid of the internet. He's probably taken a peek or two at that board. Between the...


--crazy bastards who post their bizarre comments about Tony's body hair and satellites of his house,

--the hostile trolls that attack everyone who disagrees with them,

--the self-appointed guardians of the orb who bash you for defending yourself against the trolls,


--the mindless 'fans' who gush over absolutely everything the cast says and does, and then impinge on their privacy and impersonate them on other sites, like fucking psychopaths,


--and the self-appointed den mothers who claim to know all, and take it upon themselves to dictate the official opinions to which all must subscribe,




...that board is the fucking snakepit. I scraped it off. Barb scraped it off. MJ scraped it off.  You scraped it off. Tami, you should scrape it off again.

Say One Thing, Do Another, and Somehow Be Crazy Enough to Resolve the Two in Your Mind

Not sure how anyone can claim to be a fan, and then do something like this. If I had to guess how he would have reacted to this, I would say offended, angry, and hurt. Love him to death, but he's really just a toy to you, right? Public property?

Disrespectful conduct by people from whom I've come to expect that sort of thing. I'm enraged, but can't say I'm surprised at all. And since this page was verified as fake and reported to someone in direct contact with Tony Shalhoub, the person/people who did this has/have thoroughly embarrassed themselves. And I'm still rueing the bone-headed maneuvers I made at Paley last year, having attended the event after getting just one hour of sleep in three days. At least my heart was in the right place, even if my head was lodged firmly up my ass. I can't even compete with this despicable prank.

Having some difficulty seeing him as a human being? I don't care how rich they are or that their faces are on your TV set and plastered all over the magazines. They feel and express a full range of emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, elation, shame, arrogance, humility, embarassment, apathy, love, hatred, and compassion. They eat, sleep, recreate, and use the bathroom. They have mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, cousins, and children. They have therapists. They have to keep working or money stops coming in. Their refrigerators break. They suffer from depression and anxiety. They get cancer, headaches, and ulcers, and they have to have their teeth drilled. They have family barbecues. They get the morning paper. They have dogs, cats, and parakeets. They take pictures of their kids and gush over them as they show them to their friends. They have to pay their electric bills or their lights get cut off. They fall in love. They get divorced. They walk in the park. They go grocery shopping. They're born, they live, they die.

What the fuck does completely dissecting their lives and laying them out in grand, graphic, gory detail for the amusement of millions of total strangers have to do with acting???? Not one goddamn thing. Where does that sense of entitlement come from? Methinks thou doth project too much.


Respect the man.

Don't make up a phony profile for a celebrity ...

... unless, of course, you work with or are related to that celebrity. Unless you are creating that profile with that celebrity's knowledge and input, you don't have a credible reason to create a Facebook profile (person) page for that celebrity

a. If you do create a phony Facebook profile for a celebrity and you run across a person who is skeptical about the authenticity of the celebrity profile, find out who that person is before you send a PM to that person, because that skeptical person just might actually know the celebrity you are impersonating and call the celebrity or send him or her an email.

b. If you still wish to send the skeptical person a PM to convince the skeptic that you are the celebrity you are pretending to be, be sure to use language and syntax the celebrity would most likely use.

c. If English is your celebrity's primary language but not your primary language, and you still want to send the skeptical person a PM, have someone read your PM first, so that the skeptic won't think that your PM was "retarded" and suspect that you are ESL, get pissed off, and report your phony celebrity profile to Facebook and the real celebrity.

d. If the purpose of creating a phony celebrity profile is to test me to see how quickly I'll report your phony celebrity profile to Facebook and have it removed so that you can complain that I'm "mean" or "not nice," remember this: I wait until I have confirmation that a profile is a fake before I report it to Facebook. I did not report "phony-Tony" to Facebook. "Phony-Tony" was either taken down by the guilty party or Facebook, before I got the skeptic's response to my PM for confirmation.

e. If d. was the reason for creating the phony celebrity profile, hope that I never find confirmation that it was you who did this ...

f. As soon as I got confirmation that "phony-Tony" was, indeed, phony, I was pissed at the person who would dare attempt to perpetrate that hoax. It doesn't matter why this person did it. This hoax was disrespectful to Tony Shalhoub, himself. I hope the person who did this isn't a fan of Tony's ... If the person who did this is a fan of Tony Shalhoub's, that would be, well, creepy ...

I just heard something disturbing today. Yet another cast member of the Monk show has been impersonated on Facebook.

First, someone was posing as Emmy Clarke--setting up as a personal page what should obviously have been a fan page/group page. Strange that Emmy seemed to be struggling with ESL on Facebook. I always thought she was from the United States.

Today I learned that this time, someone impersonated Tony Shalhoub. This person was intentionally speaking as Tony, talking about filming Feed the Fish and acting, etc. This was done, as the story was related to me, in a much more deliberate and aggressive manner than was done on the bogus Emmy's Facebook page.

What is it about the internet that makes supposedly grown adults think they can act like complete shitheads? People do things on the internet they'd never dream of doing in real life and they say things to people they'd never dream of saying to another person face to face.

I can't get over the hypocrisy. "We love you!" "I'm your biggest fan!" "You're hot!" "The sun rises and sets on your smile!" "I never miss the show!" And then you go and do something like this.

That shows absolutely

This takes me back to another incident wherein Tami again caught all kinds of shit--this time when she took steps to have some of Ted Levine's personal family pictures taken off the internet. The two people found to have been posting those photos without any kind of permission are still harassing Tami. How the fuck can you have sites set up for these people, claiming to be fans of theirs, and then do stuff like this???

That shows absolutely

If you ask me, this kind of harassment is a form of stalking. I have no idea how any of these people put up with crazy, crack-pot fans. Tami had those pictures and that Emmy Clarke page taken down out of respect for these people whose privacy and basic rights you're all fucking with. Now what did all these people do? Raise a major shit over their own pictures appearing on the internet on sites they themselves posted their pictures on. What's good for the goose isn't good enough for you??? "Don't do to me what I do to others, dammit!"

I know what the problem is. These people doing this bullshit have absolutely

I have a flash bulletin for all of you: Tony Shalhoub, Ted Levine, and Emmy Clarke are all very real human beings. Impersonating them on websites and in chatrooms, and hijacking their personal family photos isn't funny and it isn't fun. When they're off the set, they're off the clock. Leave them the fuck alone. Do we not know how to set up fan pages on Facebook? Do we not know how to say, oh, by the way, this actor has nothing to do with this page? There are some lessons we all should have learned by the third grade.

That blind adoration thing is dangerous as shit. Love to see people post "Tony's a wonderful husband and a great father." That came up frequently. Lovely sentiment, but, um, how the hell do you know?

And it always seems to take people a long ass time to figure out that when people make unqualified statements like this, ass-kissing statements, those are always the people to cross the line with you. They're the first to stab you in the back. They're the first ones to turn on you.

So what happened to all these people posting this blind adoration crap on the USA Monk message board? Well, apparently, two of them are impersonating cast members on another site. That adoration doesn't go very far, does it? If it doesn't even go as far as respecting these people, it doesn't go far at all. No even from the front door to the end of the driveway. You know why it doesn't go far? Because it doesn't go deep.

I knew there was no respect when one poster posted the stalker's-eye view of Tony's house on that board. Crossing the line, big time. That should have been taken down immediately. Once again, the ever-invisible, ever-flaccid El-Admin taking absolutely no action and showing no interest. I can't believe that thread survived the first hour of posting.

I think I know what the problem is. We aren't even human. We're all bullshit. We're all just monkeys with cell phones.

Here's as far as my 'blind adoration' goes. Tony's my favorite living actor. I'd pay real money to watch a movie of him reading a phone book. I'm thoroughly dazzled by damn near everything he does on film and in TV. I think he's incredible. I also think he's easily the most attractive actor out there. Young, old, or sideways, he beats them all. There's no other actor I'd rather look at. Now, what are those two things? They are things I can see. I don't know this man at all. Not the least little bit.

You'll never catch me saying he's a wonderful husband. Brooke Adams is the only person on the planet who knows what kind of husband he is. You'll never catch me saying he's a great father. Sophie and Josie are the only people on the planet who know what kind of father he is. What kind of a crack-pot claims to know things they have absolutely no way of knowing? He may simply be an actor adept at keeping his name out of the tabloids and his dirt out of the street.

In the real world, he could have sex slaves chained to the radiators in his basement. He could be running sweat mills on child labor in third world countries. He could be clubbing baby seals during his show's hiatus. I have no fucking idea. I have no idea what goes on in that man's house. On planet earth, he's just a face on my TV screen.

I can watch his show and follow his career and try to see all his movies. I can even write him a letter or ask for an autograph. Beyond that, I can't knock on his door or call him on the phone or invite him to chinese buffet. We don't go fishing. He hasn't once hired me to clean his house, and I don't watch his kids for him when he's out with his wife. We don't swap recipes. And although I consider he owes me several rootbeers for all those fucking awards programs I watched just to see him get robbed by Alec Baldwin, I really don't have any sane reason to expect I'll actually get them. Get it? He's not a person in my bubble. Deflate it, people. You don't know the man.

And true to both form and legend, all these blind adoration idiots impinge on these actors' lives time and time again. If you really do love these actors, treat them like human beings. If you really do admire these people, stop treating them like public property, like their lives belong to you and everyone else 24 hours a day. Stop treating them like, no matter what you do to them, they need to not only accept it, but to swallow hard and smile. They're not toys. They're not doorstops, umbrella stands, or paperweights. They're human fucking beings. Enough of the psycho bullshit.

And if any of you (Tony, Ted, or Emmy) are googling yourselves, I have to say I really do admire all of you, but for real, I wouldn't trade places with a single one of you. Not to put up with bullshit like this. I have no idea how anyone puts up with this shit. I wouldn't trade places with any of you--not for a suitcase full of a money and a bag of dicks. No way. No fucking way.

It's not funny and it's not fun. They're human beings. What part of that don't you understand????

Excuses, excuses, excuses...and a new Coven member!

Welcome, new Coven member, Clingy Clem!

I feel very sorry for people with terminal diseases. Very sorry. Of course, all the people I've known with terminal diseases and all those who've died from them--including my Grandfather, of Alzheimer's--went out with dignity, respect, and grace. They didn't use their disease to excuse rude, mean, abhorrent behavior. They didn't use their disease to create a moral compulsion in others to love them, tolerate their disrespect, accept them unconditionally, or anything else. They didn't harass those they loved and those that loved them, and then lean on the fact that their time is/was short. They continued, until the end, to treat everyone with love and respect. You, Clem, want to use this as a 'pass' while you mistreat people. And that's why you get a big ole 'fuck you' with warmth and affection from me to you. Enjoy your trip.

You post on a public message board "You are mean" to Tami and then say that's not an insult. Huh? Defining logic and reality for everyone else? Mmkay, that's not an insult. Hey, Clem, you're mean. If it's not an insult when you say it to Tami, well then, it's not an insult when I say it to you. You're mean. And I mean that...from the heart. You're mean.

Then he goes on to see eruptions in a series of PMs wherein no eruptions occurred, insults wherein no insults appeared, and offenses wherein no offenses took place. He was asked repeatedly to stop PMing. He was told repeatedly that his repeated annoying requests to join Tami's pages were being declined, as well as being repeatedly told WHY.

He was, at one point, asked to stop acting like a spoiled brat. If he was, in fact, acting like a spoiled brat, where's the insult? Was it a vague, unqualified insult that was unrelated to the harassment that was going on by Clem against Tami? Did she call him ugly? Fat? Stupid? Did she say his mother dresses him funny? No. He was specifically acting like a spoiled brat, and she asked him to stop.

Her responses are not chummy or gushing with friendship and emotion--they are tempered, tactful, polite--all the 'pleases' and 'thank yous' are there--and she stays on point. No, Tami's offense is in exercising her right as administrator of her own facebook pages. She can accept who she wants to accept and reject who she wants to reject. I think that's kinda why they put the the ignore and block functions in there. Both personal pages and fan pages give the account owners this power.

Here's yet another case of someone who demands full acceptance by everyone who takes a small discretion and blows it completely out of proportion. This is MetaComet part 2.

This all started when Tami asked Clem POLITELY (I saw the PM myself--don't even try to skew it for me) to stop using the chat function in facebook. Personally, I applaud her. None of my friends use that stupid window to IM me--they catch me on YIM. That stupid little window has very very veeeeeeeeeeery slow response time and covers the page I'm trying to look at. It only closes when the mood strikes it to do so, and it's so Fred and Barney, I cuss up a storm the rare time it does open. Jeff pops that stupid chat window up on me from time to time. I hate it. Tami can't hate it too?

Clem only opened the chat window (several times a day like a waterhead) to yak at Tami about a multitude of topics she has absolutely no interest in. No, Clem, I don't think Tami wants to do Natalie. No, Clem, I don't think Tami thinks Emmy is hot. No, Clem, we have absolutely nothing in common...at all...on any level...ever. Tami did something I couldn't have managed to do--she found a polite way to ask him to stop being an idiot and leave that chat button alone.

Oh the humanity! Tami, you're such a bitch! How could you do something so horribly mean?!!?! Look at the transgression, people. It's a non-event. She received a shit-storm AGAIN over a non-event.

Look at Meta--she blew her buttons because Tami set her facebook profile as unsearchable. Then she accused Tami of blocking her--fucking duh. Tami did NOT block Meta. When you make your facebook page unsearchable, you are not blocking a singular person or anyone in particular.

Who are all these Monk crackpots that think just because two people once posted on the same stupid ass dysfunctional message board, you have to automatically accept friend requests from everyone from that board if they try to friend you on another site???? Did Tami and Clem have any kind of friendship or rapport on the USA Monk Message Board??? NO. Did Tami and Meta ever have any kind of friendship or rapport on the USA Monk Message Board??? NO. Does Tami, or me, for that matter, have to accept friend requests from everyone on that board who chooses to send them? Is the freedom and right to choose to accept or reject/ignore friend requests suspended for Tami? What the fuck. Get lives, people.

I ignored a friend request from someone at that board whom I decided a long time ago I had nothing at all in common with, though I didn't dislike her at all. SHE SENT THE REQUEST 3 FUCKING TIMES. Who on planet earth does this?????

Move on with your lives. You must lead lonely desperate existences to work so ardently and obsessively at insinuating yourselves in other people's lives, going where you aren't wanted, and just refusing to get over it and move on--flipping out, even. Where's the cause to flip out in either of these instances??? If someone wants nothing to do with me, I actually leave. I move on to other things. Picture that. Tami explained to both of these people that they have nothing in common. So you like the same TV show, and now you must be dragged kicking and screaming into the woods by dingos to be forcibly inducted into the cabal?? Are you people fucking nuts????

And the other issue: Every single time one of these waterheads is mean, disrespectful, hurtful, hateful, dishonest, or just being a shithead, another Coven member comes out of a crack in the wall waving an excuse--another lame ass reason why me and Tami need to be letting these people take shots at us.

So let I get this straight: EVERYONE has an excuse...except me and Tami? Dream on. I think your bag of magic beans isn't as magic as you think.

Ebay anyone?

As one of Damien's arguments, he said he's gone through a few computers in the past 4 months during his vanishing act. Can't reply to anyone's email just to let them know you're alive because of all the pc problems you had--is that what you're saying?

And yet, has sold over 300 items on ebay in those 4 months. That's not including anyone who may have bought from him and didn't post feedback, which happens quite frequently, as I understand it.

Whuh? Is this what it feels like when you're expected to swallow whole something you fully recognize as bullshit? You can list over 300 items on ebay, which, ironically, must be done on the computer, watch all those auctions to see if people are bidding high enough for you to profit on those items, and then contact the buyer or respond to a buyer who is contacting you, etc. etc. etc., but someone emails you numerous times to see if you're still alive and haven't killed yourself and, let me get this straight, you can't reply to even one of them because you're having computer problems?

What a delightfully wonderful mind fuck that was, Damien. Thank you. Thank you so much. Never before have I been 'serviced' in such grand fashion.

Remind me to send you my ex-husband's phone number. That way, he can verify it for you: I always spit...I never swallow.

Life on Planet Earth, Try it Some Time...

I've about had it with the very convenient way people choose to argue away their bullshit. One argument after another that just don't go over in reality or anywhere on planet, you know, earth.

How to be a clueless, inconsiderate asshole:

First, leave what has all the appearances and earmarks of being a suicidal post on your facebook wall. No, really, do that. Something like, oh, I don't know, maybe "I've just had my heart broken for the last time. I'm through."

Then, disappear for almost 4 months.

Then, as people who know you send emails and PMs and try everything they can think of to get in touch with you, make sure you ignore them all. I mean, fuck them all, right? Yes do that. No matter how frantic they seem. Even if they try something as extreme as trying to call you on the phone.

I hope you're all taking notes. This is a classic textbook way to really fuck with people in a way that allows you to start out self-absorbed and then end it being self-absorbed. God-forbid you reply to just one of those emails to say "I'm still alive."

After those 4 months are up, go back into facebook and post on someone's notes from 3 months ago to piss and moan that you were misunderstood about something no one even cares about anymore. Post as though you were never gone.

When you're called on being a self-absorbed asshole who didn't give a shit about all the people who were worried you had killed yourself, go on a diatribe about how bad your life is and that you were "sparing others the gory details" of your life as it was in a tailspin.

How does telling just one person you didn't kill yourself expose anyone to the gory details of whatever was going on in your life? It doesn't. And there's your fucking head game.

I remember months and months and months ago, when there was still the Mandevilla message board and someone had told me Damien was known as a 'drama queen.' I didn't think that was a fair comment--he's been known to post his life's goings-on on message boards. I don't really see a problem with that. I know few people who don't do that. I don't think you bash someone for posting a comment on a message board, especially in threads designed for that, when something's bothering them. No, THIS waterhead stunt was fully drama-queenish.

I did realize something after all this garbage: There's only one guy on the planet with personal problems, and I did manage to find out who that is. Damien. He goes by 'Damien Mandeville' here on the internet. I knew someone was having a less than perfect life...I just never knew who that person was. Mystery solved. My life is perfect. Everyone I know has a perfect life. It's just this one guy.

What all this did was just reinforce what I already know about men to begin with--they are all (every single one, without exception) cold, heartless, and clueless. Dumb as Alabama dishwater.

I've had to make a major change in my own life because of it. They're all self-absorbed. Here's yet another one who doesn't give a rat's ass about anyone but himself. They don't see it, and they never admit it.

So 4 months later, what did everyone get? A convenient, self-serving argument that defies logic, ignores that one simple question: 'what does any of that have to do with telling someone you didn't kill yourself?' and an argument that, as a whole, follows the Kjees formula to a fucking 'T.'

That explains it all. Damien forgot to add the word "don't." Well then, let me just welcome you back and carry on as though nothing happened.

Was this the first time Damien pulled a vanishing act to wallow in self-pity and get everyone all upset and worried about him? No. Of course not. A head game is only fun if you can play the same game over and over and over again.

I can tell a multitude of people that I'm okay and didn't off myself without telling a single one of them the "gory details of my life." Here, watch me do it:

Hey, everyone! I'm not dead! Got something going on. Can't talk about it. I'll be back on later! Thanks for asking!

If you forget how to do that, no problem. Just copy that part appearing above and paste it into a file, then save it on your computer. Then, if you get confused later on, you can just copy/paste it into just one inquiring email. That one person will surely pass your message along to all the others who are fucking looking for you!

Now, was that so hard? Common sense rarely is. That's why it's supposed to be so common.

Hmm, after reviewing some of Tami's keener observations, I'm beginning to wonder if I'm missing some coven members here...

What a nit Twit!!

So I lost my link to Barb's Twitter and had to go into the site and do a search for her page. I got only one search result--it was not the right Barb, but this other barb only has about 4 followers....and one of them is:

As usual, Kees, you're an idiot. That's not Barb's twitter page. The fact that Barb's picture isn't over there isn't enough of a clue for you. The fact that there are fewer than 10 followers on that page isn't enough of a clue for you--the real Barb's Twitter has 135 followers. The fact that this other Barb doesn't talk about writing at all, or losing weight--the two main topics on Barb's real Twitter page--isn't enough of a clue for you. As usual, you have no idea what's going on. No worries. The actual Barb Early has been alerted that you had looked for her and she's already blocked you.

Evidence of your cluelessness was apparent when you welcomed Barb back to the USA board...and of course, she left immediately. What kind of idiot thinks you can shit on someone and they still welcome you back with open arms? What kind of idiot thinks you can shit on someone and they'll hold nothing against you? What kind of idiot thinks you can say the vile, vulgar, hateful things Kees said, refuse to apologize for it, and still be in good with people?

So the suspension on Kees' USA account was lifted, she came back in there (as I knew she would--that's why I refused to post until I see 'banned' next to her name) and, ironically, Barb bolted right back out of there. Did Kees ever figure it out? Nope. Clueless. And Kees hasn't posted for months, but apparently she's checking in frequently. It makes it so much lovlier in the USA Monk board and makes skads of people happy, but nobody's fooled by that. People tried coming back before when she had been suspended, and as soon as they poked their heads out, the bitch was back.


You can stop following that other Barb Early on Twitter, Kees. That's not the one you think it is. And now you can't even see the real Barb's Twitter page.

Post copied from April 5th: Bitch, please...

I say and do hateful things to people, and then claim not to hate. I hold grudges longer than a Hatfield and McCoy put together, and then claim not to hold grudges.

I think that there are plenty of people out there stupid enough to take me at my word, even when everything I do contradicts the phoney image of myself that I'm trying so hard to portray.

I make demands on friends, and issue ultimatums, like a child and as though my friends just don't have enough trifling, petty bastards in their own life. I think that will cause them to value that quality in me.

When someone uses a particular argument on me, I turn around and use the same argument on them, oblivious to the fact that those arguments just won't work for my case.

When someone says something to me or about me, I turn around and say the same things back, because I just don't have a single original thought in my own head, and because I've simply run out of ways to bogusly defend my childish bullshit.

If you're completely uninvolved but argue in my favor, I have no issues whatsoever. If you are involved, and you speak out against me, I call you a meddling outsider. This makes sense to me because I'm an idiot.

When you raise a brand new issue (like, for instance, the recent taking down of a message board) I then come on and talk about a bunch of old fights that 1) ironically, I started, and 2) that have nothing to do with your original post. Then I tell everyone you're opening old wounds...or picking old scabs...as it were....

I make shady, snaky references to other people, even naming them outright, and then when they get sick of my bullshit and dare to speak back, I tell everyone "See that? They just won't let it drop."

Most of my arguments are based on misinformation, intentional misdirection, and outright bullshit. Then I say other people don't know what's going on.

If I didn't make it up or verify it personally, or it just doesn't suit my argument at the time, well then dammit, it doesn't exist.

I create--demand, even--a moral compulsion in all my friends to fight my battles for me, even when they PM and email others that what I did was wrong, hurtful, and mean.

If ya ain't fer me, you're agin me...the axe will fall!

Post copied from April 10th: Dance, puppets, dance!

Still waiting for that axe to fall. Can you say "empty threat"?

Post copied from April 10th: Wind 'em all up and they'll do your bidding....

Okay, I saw someone suggest a book--Children of the Matrix, by David Icke. I read a quick excerpt at Amazon, and was just absolutely floored--I have to order a copy of this book immediately and I strongly suggest that you all do too. Here's an excerpt:

When a few people wish to control and direct a mass of humanity, there are certain key structures that have to be in place. These are the same whether you are seeking to manipulate an individual, family, tribe, town, country, continent, or planet.

First, you have to set the “norms,” what is considered right and wrong, possible or impossible, sane or insane, good and bad. Most of the people will follow those norms without question because of the baa-baa mentality, which has prevailed within the collective human mind for at least thousands of years. Second, you have to make life very unpleasant for those few who challenge your imposed “norms.” The most effective way to do this is to make it, in effect, a crime to be different. So those who beat to a different drum, or voice a different view, version of “truth” and lifestyle, stand out like a black sheep in the human herd. You have already conditioned that herd to accept your norms as reality and so, in their arrogance and ignorance, they then ridicule or condemn those with a different spin on life. This pressurizes them to conform and serves as a warning for those others in the herd who are also thinking of breaking away. There is a Japanese saying that goes: Don’t be a nail that stands out above the rest because that’s the first one to get hit.”

This creates a situation fundamental to the few controlling the many, in which the masses police themselves and keep each other in line. The sheep become the sheepdog for the rest of the herd. It is like a prisoner trying to escape while the rest of his cellmates rush to stop him. If that happened, we would say the prisoners were crazy—how could they do that? But humans are doing precisely this to each other every day by demanding that everyone conform to the norms to which they blindly conform. This is nothing less than psychological fascism—the thought police with agents in every home, everywhere. Agents so deeply conditioned that most have no idea they are unpaid mind controllers.

Okay people--sound like anyone we know??? I know one thing's for sure: David Icke has been reading the Monk message board!